My Trust from my Youth...(Ps. 71:5)

Many of the things that have been coming up in my life lately have been taking me back to earlier years. (Hence the title of this blog!)

For three years now I have been investigating a Celtic Evangelical (ie Protestant) Monastery in Oregon. I have made application to spend a month there either in January or sometime next summer. For those of you who have tracked with me, especially over the last 10 years, you know that I have had a "love affair" with Monasticism since it burns so deeply in my heart to be wholly owned by Jesus. What you may not know is that this desire goes all the way back into my childhood. I cannot remember where I picked the concept up but as you can see in the picture I was taking very early stabs at my goal.....with a bathrobe, a scarf and a candle my parents had....and I drug my little friends into it too. :)

Originally (@ 10 years ago) I started reading the Catholic Saints...Mother Teresa (thanks Aunt Kathryn!!), John of the Cross and St. Francis of Assisi mostly. In recent years I have been reading alot about Celtic Christianity and Monasticism. These two 'paths' of Christianity have similarities and differences but blended together they are exciting!! One point of delight is that Celtic Monasticism has not only a celibate expression but a married expression. And, yes, Larry has been studying all of this too!! In fact, we are going to a monastery in May for our 10th Anniversary.

So. Although I have spent time at several Catholic Monasteries over the years I have only recently found this Protestant one and am very excited to have made application to spend a month there. We'll see..... :)

I sleep but my heart is awake; It is the Voice of my Beloved (Songs 5:3a)

It feels like there is a shift of some sort going on lately. Like it’s a "Suddenly of God".
Old dreams are boiling to the surface alongside new ones and I hardly know what to think or feel these days.

Missions is coming back onto my radar….

First I had the opportunity to teach on the Song of Songs to a group of Mexicans visiting from Cuernavaca in March. I had not preached in years. But I had so much fun. And was surprised that there really were things burning on my heart to say.

I am also back in school, getting my Master’s degree in New Testament and Missions. I am really excited to be again studying the two things I love!!!

And now on Saturday I will be leaving for Cuernavaca, Mexico. A weird thing happened with that this morning too. Last night I was praying about whether or not I had made the right decision to go and whether or not driving down was wise. I prayed last night that God would make it clear. At 5am today I woke up and an angel (@ 9ft, skinny & white) walked through the room. He didn’t look at me, just walked through. I was intrigued then fell back asleep. Then suddenly I was awakened by a small, pudgy, brown (angel?) that sharply yelled my name…not in any way malicious but with the very obvious intention of jolting me awake. That was at 8am. It was like a call (but to what?). I lay and mulled it over for about ½ an hour then got up. I had the definate peace inside though that I was to go to Mexico and that I was to drive. Anyone have any thoughts???

Then there’s the dream of 24/7 Worship/Prayer alongside Missions…..

Admittedly, there is no ship invovled, but the desire of 24/7 Worship and Prayer with a Missions focus alongside has never completely left me. Back in Brazil in 1999 God made the following things very clear (I have been going back through my notes to double check this): 24/7 Worship & Prayer, 2nd Coming of Jesus, the "wall" (Nehemiah), missions, the Middle East. I am (as you know) at a 24/7 Prayer ministry (IHOP-KC) and they are now in the grass roots stages of starting an Apostolic Missions Institute. I very much want to be involved with this if the Lord would allow it. We'll see.....

Come, my Beloved....let us go forth to the field (Songs 7:11-12)

There is a House of Prayer that has been started in Cuernavaca, Mexico. We (Larry & I) have an invitation to be involved in the House of Prayer as well as starting a ministry in the slum area of El Estacion. According to missionary friends there this area is the "cradle of street children" or the area where most of the street children come from.


I am stunned & excited over the possibility of being able to work with street children again and as I sit and meditate on the possibility I remember Isaias in Brazil. Even though it was, what, 6, 7, (?) years ago it is as fresh on my heart and mind like it was yesterday. I can still see the hurt in his eyes and feel the searing pain in my heart when we had to leave Brazil because of VISA issues and I had to leave Him behind. I felt so useless at the time. So grieved as I offered him up to Jesus and left. I remember the agony of returning for a week visit, hunting him down in the streets of Porto Velho only to find that he was hooked on drugs and had no recollection of me.

And now here I sit with a chance to walk into such situations again. There is a groaning deep in my spirit to see captives set fee, to see the abandoned loved with the love of Jesus. And at the same time there is the burning desire to weep with Jesus in the Garden.

And, I wonder, what does He weep over? Certainly over the things that are to come...but also over the things that are.

As I long to weep with Him in the secret place I also long to weep with Him in the streets. He said that whatever I do unto the "least of these" I have done also to Him. Would it not stand to reason then that as He weeps in the form of a street child that comforting that child is giving a place for Jesus to lay His head and find peace? Even the cup of cold water (beans & rice, trip to McDonald's or candy bar, as it were) then, is weeping with Jesus...not only ministering to the hurting and broken as He flows through my small acts, empowering them with His deep love, but also ministering to His broken Heart.

This is the Second commandment which is so very like unto the First...love the Lord Your God...with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.....