The Measure of A Life

"What is the measure of a life?"

So asks the actor in "End of the Spear" as he reflects upon the life of martyred missionary Nate Saint.

And so am I asking this morning.
By what do I measure my life?

One should never spend time in comparison that leads to condemnation.
On the other hand, it is so very good to look at the lives of others and glean from their character.

And so I was contemplating someone who has spent the last 10+ years pouring into the lives of young people.....now seeing fruit from that effort.
There is value in that. Much value in that.

I think too of Bob Jones and his death experience.
He died of a heart attack and went to heaven.
The one question the Lord asked him was "did you learn to love?"
Then he was given his earthly life back.

Interesting. The question the Lord asked was "did you learn to love?"
As if that was the measure of a life.
Did we learn to love Jesus, did we learn to love each other.
Relationship. Love.

And suddenly I find myself sitting on the floor in front of the altar.
A place I have not been for way too long.

I pick up the chalice, blow out the dust, and pour the wine.
I reach into the pink alabaster box and take a wafer.

And the tears come.
I sit before the throne of grace, the throne of mercy and I weep.
Do I even know how to love?
Oh how I long to.
My God, my God, that this would be the content of my life!

As the tears pour down my face I realize that the bread I am holding is becoming soaked.
By my tears.
Not His human tears in this moment but mine.

As I place the soggy wafer in my mouth I taste the bread that represents Him and the saltiness of the tears that came from me.
And somehow I find comfort. Perspective, if not yet wisdom.

No gold dust falls from heaven.
No angels showing up in the room with profound messages.
No burning bushes.
Instead, a silence, a relief, an ordinary piece of bread, dust and tears.
The mundane shows itself ethereal.

Love.
Maybe it's not so hard.
Maybe it really is just the giving of ourselves in the ordinary.
At times weak.
Perchance even walked out wrongly on occasion but with a sincere and pure heart.
But also with moments that are strong and perfect and salvific for others.
Yet ordinary. Mundane.
The normalness that God created infused with the heavenly that He also created.

Love.
Cups.
Dust.
Bread.
Tears.
A heart offered to others.

The measure of a life.